My opinion, it’s ok to have the thoughts you’re having. My ex actually got me sent to one of those hospitals for suicidal thoughts, except they weren’t real. It was just to get her off my case. My therapist at the time said of course you’re gonna have thoughts like Get off my dick shirt, maybe the world might be a better place without you. You’re a smart dude and you think about the opposite extremes and everything in the middle. That’s what’s has allowed you to plan for your future in Seattle. It’s let you do the right thing to protect your patients and plan for future employment. If you’re truly suicidal, your therapist can help, but having fleeting thoughts about your existence is normal.
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