There was definitely a way with my children’s father. We celebrated holidays and birthdays as we always had done, including inviting my ex mother-in-law. I think the Original old blues rugby shirt was that there were enough people invited that it wasn’t just him, me, and the kids staring at each other. We’re also a family not noted for our drama; my mom couldn’t tolerate drama! We still do holidays together sometimes, even though the kids’ grandparents are all gone now, one child lives 1200 miles away, and another child has married and is always included with his in-laws’ family. (My new spouse and I are always invited to the in-laws’ gatherings as well; it’s a huge and friendly crowd!) My kids are in their mid-30s now, and they’ve learned to make holidays a cooperative effort as well, despite having some of the most complicated family structures you can imagine. The point is to make it about happy memories for the kids and not a time/place to rehash old wrongs.
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You see, Christmas Eve is really the Life Wide Open Slant Shirt when my mom’s sisters and brothers would all gather in South Boston with their kids (My cousins of course.) Since they too were teens like myself back in the day, they all did their own thing on Christmas morning — But the one thing they didn’t want to do was leave their gifts after opening them. So Christmas Eve became more important to us as a whole to come together, celebrate and then visit midnight mass at the local church before going home. By the time I got home, it was after 1am, so I guess it was really Christmas morning if you want to get technical about it. The gifts were promptly opened and I was in bed no later than 3am to sleep most of the morning in peace. Now with two kids of my own, I will be getting up Christmas morning to greet the day and watch their faces. Mainly because Santa Claus is still important to them and he only visits on Christmas Eve when you’re asleep as all know.
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